Sterling Stinks

The Night Before (John) Sterling

2011-02-25T15:31:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow marks the 2011 debut of Yanks baseball on the radio, and the return of John Sterling. Which makes tonight:

The Night Before Sterling

‘Twas the night before Sterling, when all through the house,

Each creature was fearing, what would spring from his mouth;

For tomorrow he sits in his Yank’s broadcast chair,

And starts a new season of spewing hot air;

The radios were tuned to the Yankee’s network,

Just awaiting the s**t that would emit from this jerk;

I took out my jersey, I put on my cap,

And finally awoke from my long winter’s nap;

When out of the radio, there rose such a clatter;

As Sterling had started his mind-numbing patter;

He’s always mistaking, what are strikes and are balls,

And makes efforts painstaking, on his home run calls;

On Jeter, on Text, on Jolly Saint Nick,

On my nerves, for quite frankly, he’s making me sick;

Is it fair? Is it foul? Is it over the wall?

He’s calls are like noses, he blows one and all;

But this game is a tough one, there’s just no explaining,

And while he makes little sense, there’s no sense complaining;

So here I exclaim, whilst full of derision;

Click off your radio, and watch television!

The John Sterling Effect

2011-02-24T15:52:00.003-05:00

Yep Listen to him enought and this is what happens:

P.S. This is NOT me :)

Four Days till John Sterling Returns

2011-02-23T15:43:00.004-05:00

The Yankees broadcast schedule is out and we only have four days left till the return of John Sterling to the airwaves. Talk about mixed emotions. The thrill of Yankee baseball tempered by the agony of having to listen to John Sterling.

Word is that the Vegas bookmakers are adding Sterlingisms to their offerings. Here are some of the most recent odds:

Sterling reacts to an exhibition win over the Twins as if the Yanks won another pennant - 4:1
Sterling sings a song from a Broadway musical – 7:1
Sterling mispronounces a player’s name – Even

Plus, here are the over/unders for some Sterling utterances (per game):

Sterling says spring training games are meaningless – 31
Sterling says spring stats are meaningless – 18
Sterling says spring stats are meaningless, and then proceeds to talk about spring stats – 6

A lot can happen in four days. Maybe Sterling will get an offer to appear in Spider-man on Broadway and leave the Yankees before Opening Day. Wait…they’ve had enough trouble as it is.

The Final Countdown?

2011-02-22T12:05:00.002-05:00

Such mixed emotions. Like most baseball fans, I am thrilled that spring training is here. Visions of sugar plums dancing in my head have been replaced by visions on yet another World Series championship (or, at the very least, visions of a solid third and fourth starter).

Like most Yankees fans, my joy is tempered by the fact that I am facing another season of listening to John Sterling. The man mangles calls. The man mispronounces names (sometimes twice in the same sentence). The man sings when he should talk. The man talks when he should shut up. But every cloud has a silver lining.

Is this the last year of Sterling?

The Yankees contract with their flagship radio station, WCBS-AM, expires after this season. And with it, so do the contracts of Sterling and Snoozin’ Waldman, possibly the worst broadcast duo in baseball.

You know that Hank S. will be shopping the rights looking for the very best deal. If that deal is found elsewhere, will the new broadcast partner resign Sterling and Waldman? Probably not. Even if the Yanks stay with CBS, the broadcast brass there must realize that the fans have had it. The home run calls and ego-driven chatter have gone stale. It is time for a change.

Here’s hoping that this is the final countdown. Here’s hoping that the 2012 Yankees bring new announcers to their radio team.

Play Ball!

2011-02-18T11:55:00.004-05:00

The mercury is approaching the 70s in NYC today. Spring is in the air and the Boys of Summer are down south warming up for another season of baseball. While there are big concerns about the starting rotation, sadly one rotation will stay intact. Yes, Yankee fans, it looks like we will have to endure another summer of John Sterling and Snoozin’ Waldman.

I too, am gearing up for another season of blown calls and ego-driven broadcasts. I look forward to your comments, insults and suggestions (and the witty banter of Grumpus).

John Sterling: Stuck in the 80s

2010-08-03T22:15:00.004-04:00

In tonight’s loss to the Blue Jays, as an errant throw rolled into the outfield, the ever-current John Sterling remarked that the throw would have even been “over Kareem’s head.”

How timely, a 2010 reference to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the six-time NBA MVP who retired in…wait for it…1989. That’s 1989, as in 21 YEARS AGO, proving yet again that Sterling exists in some sort of nonsensical time warp.

John Sterling’s Home Run Call for Lance Berkman

2010-08-02T12:40:00.001-04:00

OK, so my affinity for Lance Berkman goes back to his early days as a roto stud. I am glad to see him in pinstripes, but the joy of a lefty off the bench is tempered by the fact that this means John Sterling gets to create yet another inane home run call. What will Sterling come up with now? A Berkman Blast? Lance Left the Field. What home run call will the “Jerk Man” create for the Berkman?

John Sterling Hall of Shame

2010-07-30T18:29:00.002-04:00

A few comments down, our resident Sterling Savant (that’s you Mr. Grumpus) spoke of the day when statues would be erected in honor of the Voice of the Yankees. Such a horrific thought reminded me that, shortly after The Boss passed on, the airwaves were buzzing with conjecture about whether he would every make it to the Hall of Fame. At that time, a friend turned to me and asked “Do you think Sterling would ever get in?”

I froze.

Suddenly I felt like a helpless victim in an Edgar Allan Poe story. Putting the words “Sterling” and Hall of Fame” in the same sentence was worse than hearing the Raven's “nevermore” AND the beating of the Tell Tale Heart at the same time.

Could it ever happen? I hope not, but hope is not a strategy. Together, we must devise an action plan to make sure Professor Sterling never, ever, EVER lands in Cooperstown. Post, respond, e-mail me. Rack your brains for ideas and then tell me…how can we keep this man out???

John Sterling in Double Trouble

2010-07-28T12:35:00.001-04:00

Sure John Sterling is infamous for mispronouncing player’s names, but saying the same player’s name two different ways in the same sentence may be a first!

Cut to Tuesday night’s game in Cleveland when, in the same breath, Sterling referred to Indians' catcher Chris Gimenez as both (phonetically) Him-en-ez AND Gym-en-ez. Professor Sterling must have been to preoccupied coming up with more coinkydinks to share.

John Sterling KNOWS He Makes No Sense

2010-07-27T22:42:00.003-04:00

News Flash: Even John Sterling thinks John Sterling makes no sense!

During tonight’s post-game show, the Voice of the Yankees said he wanted to treat us (and Snoozin’ Waldman) to a few coincidences (or “coinkydinks” in Sterling Speak). He then proceeded to list a few statistics that, for the most part, had nothing in common.

First, Sterling compared tonight’s attendance to last night’s (they were different). Then, he compared the time of game from yesterday to today (they were different). Finally, he pointed out that yesterday, Yankee pitchers struck out six and…wait for it…tonight Yankee pitchers struck out six!

A .333 average is great for a hitter, but in the world of coincidence hunting, it’s no great shakes.

Then, as if by way of explanation, Sterling stated “Now you may ask what this all means.” Well, yes John, I do. His answer? “Nothing,” he said. “It means nothing!” Finally, he realizes what Yankee fans have known for quite some time. His observations are worthless.

Well Eschews Me!

2010-07-26T20:56:00.002-04:00

Once again, Yankee broadcaster John Sterling resorted to his “word-of-the-day” announcing style instead of the clear and concise technique preferred by his superiors (i.e. 99% of all other play-by-play men).

In the sixth inning of tonight’s game in Cleveland, Indian’s manager Manny Acta decided to let a player try to advance a man on first without bunting. When the play failed, Professor Sterling stated “So Manny Acta eschews the bunt.” Eschews? Really?

It’s not quite an SAT word, but the question remains…why use it? Why not just say “Acta decided not to bunt.”? I’ll tell you why. It’s not about the game. It’s about Sterling, and even in the simplest baseball moment, the Professor must shine the light on himself. When Sterling says “eschew” what he is really saying is “look at me! See how I can use fancy words that other broadcasters don’t?” Well Professor, there’s a reason they don’t.

The old acronym KISS (Keep it Simple Stupid) applies here, as it does to most everything Sterling says. As another (humbler) genius, Albert Einstein, once said, “Everything should be made as simple as possible.”

WFAN Gets Dirty

2010-07-26T13:48:00.002-04:00

From our Double Entendre Department comes the following:

During her 11 p.m. update on NY sports radio station WFAN yesterday, announcer Erica Herskowitz commented on how upset NY Mets pitcher R.A. Dickey was after being pulled from the game with a muscle strain.

Now maybe it’s my third-grade sense of humor, but I couldn’t help but chuckle when Herskowitz reported that “Dickey wasn’t happy about being yanked.”

Good thing she wasn’t around when Pete LaCock played for the Royals.

John Sterling’s Imagination Runs Dry

2010-07-21T16:39:00.001-04:00

Maybe it was the heat. Maybe it was the shock of a bench jockey suddenly being called into play and belting a homer. Whatever the reason, John Sterling has hit bottom with his lame home run call for New York Yankees rookie Colin Curtis.

As the ball left the yard, the Sterling-throated one declared “I’ll C.C. you later!” Then, after an awkward beat in which it seemed Sterling realized just how lame he’s become, he added the attribution: “he said.” Making the whole call “I’ll C.C. you later…he said.”
I get it, his initials are C.C.

I also get that by adding yet another inane home run call which puts the focus on himself instead of the game, Sterling loses the moment.

A pinch hitter, inheriting an 0-2 count from a batter thrown out of the game? Happens every day. A kid hitting his first blast in Yankee stadium? Boring. No, instead let’s focus on silly wordplay so we can all talk about how creative the announcer is. I am really getting fed up.

PS Sterling’s home run call for Juan Miranda was just as poor.

Clear, Concise, Correct

2010-07-17T14:19:00.001-04:00

Give the Yanks credit for a touching video tribute to Bob Sheppard. Towards the end of the montage, Sheppard states how he doesn’t attempt to be flamboyant or clairvoyant. Instead, he sums up his professional attitude in three words: Clear. Concise. Correct.

Then cut to the bumbling, stumbling “Voice of the Yankees,” Mr. Sterling. Hopefully, he was paying close attention to the Sheppard tribute and will pick up some pointers from a class act.

John Sterling Bytes

2010-05-27T11:31:00.000-04:00

In case you need a little fix of Sterling, here’s a link to several sound bytes. Man, is he awful or what?

Howie Rose Kicks John Sterling's Butt

2010-05-21T13:27:00.003-04:00

This is the series I live for! Yankees v. Mets!

Is it the rivalry? No. Is it the bragging rights? No. Is it the novelty? Not any more.

I love the Subway Series for one simple reason: I get to listen to the Yankees on the radio without having to listen to John Sterling. Whenever the cross-town rivals do battle, I tune in to WFAN, the Mets flagship station, and enjoy play-by-play the way it should be.

Baseball fans frequently like to compare teams player by player. When that comparison measures Yanks against Mets, the scale tilts heavily towards the pinstripes. First base? Check. Second base? Check. Starting rotation? Check. Broadcast booth? Flushing, we have a problem.

Any advantage Text has over Ike, any lead Jeter has over Reyes, is dwarfed by the way Howie Rose eclipses John Sterling.

Accuracy? Check. Likeability? Check. Home run call? Don’t even get me started.

Am I ready to switch stations for 162 games a year. No way. I’ll take pinstripes over blue and orange any day. But as far as this weekend is concerned, you’ll find me to the left of the dial, rooting for the Yankees, loving life, and enjoying the best baseball announcing New York has to offer.

John Sterling on Ernie Harwell

2010-05-11T12:11:00.000-04:00

OK, let’s give credit where credit is due. Sterling did a nice 70-second remembrance of Tigers announcer Ernie Harwell, who passed away last week at the age of 92. In a break from his normally egomaniacal delivery, Sterling shares some gracious words about Harwell and recalls that, when he was a boy, he listened to Harwell and “got a little taste of his flavor.” He should have paid more attention. Here’s the clip.

The John Sterling Effect

2010-05-09T12:39:00.001-04:00

As you know, this site is dedicated to pointing out how John Sterling’s antics usually get in the way of his Yankees broadcasts. Well…we’ve been one-upped.

In a thoughtful post on Bleacher Report, Leslie Monteiro blames Sterling for the decline of sports announcers in general. It makes a great deal of sense and is definitely worth a read. Click here for the story.

Cloudy With a Chance of Stupidity

2010-05-08T16:37:00.007-04:00

We know John Sterling is one of the worst baseball announcers, but he might make an even worse weatherman!

During today’s pre-game show from an overcast Fenway Park, Sterling clarified the weather situation with this: “There’s a chance of a thunderstorm, but not of rain.” OK…so it won’t rain…but thunderstorms are likely. Rest easy, Al Roker. Your job is safe.

UPDATE -- It rained. Hard.

John Sterling is a Hippie

2010-05-06T12:24:00.001-04:00

We know there’s the Sterling Shake. And the Hippy Hippy Shake. Now get ready for John Sterling the Hippie.

Cleary, Sterling loves the past. Some of his latest home run calls have their inspiration in the 1940s and 1970s. Now, Steeling is tipping his hat to those hippy, dippy 1960s.

At the end of yesterday’s game, Sterling proudly declared that “Everything is groovy in Yankeeland!” Groovy? Really? I’m all for a little slang from the summer of love, but not when I’m listening to a baseball game in 2010.

Dead Horse to John Sterling:“Stop Beating Me!”

2010-05-06T12:11:00.003-04:00

The only thing John Sterling loves more than…John Sterling, is a catch phrase he can beat to death. Yesterday, when the Yanks bullpen almost blew a lead in the ninth, Sterling found one.

As the Orioles threatened to tie the game, Sterling declared “This is life without Mariano.” OK. We get it. Mariano is on the shelf and it was a decent observation. But in Sterling’s world, anything worth saying once is worth repeating ad nauseam. And so a few seconds later, he repeats himself as though the thought just popped into his head, “This is life without Mariano.”

To make matters worse, as soon as Suzyn Waldman started her Star-of-the-Game interview, she jumped on the bandwagon with…you guessed it…”This is life without Mariano.”

Cut to commercial. Come back to the broadcast, and how does Sterling begin his post-game wrap up? You guessed. So “this is life without Mariano.” I would be willing to bet he repeated it at least two more times, but I had to turn the radio off because I just couldn’t take it anymore.

I am left to hope and wait for the day when I can once again enjoy a Yankee radio broadcast. The day when Yankee fans can rejoice. The day when we experience “life without Sterling.”

Ernie Harwell 1918 - 2010

2010-05-05T13:37:00.002-04:00

Hall of Fame baseball announcer Ernie Harwell died Tuesday at the age of 92. Harwell was an on-air mainstay in the Detroit area, calling Tigers games for 42 seasons. Read Mitch Albom’s thoughts on Harwell’s passing here.

City of Brotherly Love

2010-05-04T14:15:00.002-04:00

This is a little off topic, but last night Phillies security tasered a 17-year-old fan who jumped the fence and started running around the field at Citizens Bank Park. Was this overkill or did the fan get what he deserved?

I am all for the separation of players and fans, but this seems a bit over the top. Here's a video, what do you think?

You Can't Handle the Truth!

2010-05-04T13:58:00.002-04:00

While listening to John Sterling, you learn to question facts. Just because he calls a player by a certain name doesn’t mean that’s really who he is talking about. What is high and far and gone often is low and short and caught. But Sterling is not alone.

In fact, many of the greatest baseball legends of all time are more titillation than truth. Here’s a list of the 50 Biggest Baseball Myths I thought you might enjoy. After reading this, Sterling’s fiction may be a little easier to take. Have fun!

John Sterling is to Florida as Jerry Lewis is to France

2010-04-30T14:46:00.002-04:00

No, it’s not an SAT question, it’s the truth. While comic legend Jerry Lewis remains under-appreciated at home, the French can’t get enough of him.

Open a paper, turn on the TV or listen to the radio in the NY area and you’ll hear lots and lots of people who have had it up to here with John Sterling. But, head south and Sterling is king!

You want proof? Just take a look at this fan forum on a site called GatorSports. It’s a Florida love fest! One fan compared listening to Sterling ramble to “an afternoon talking to your grandfather.” That’s a compliment, right? Right?

John Sterling’s Home Run Call for Barack Obama

2010-04-27T09:21:00.005-04:00

The Yankees visited the White House yesterday to receive official World Championship recognition from the baseball-fan-in-chief, Barack Obama. And there, smiling like he just scored aisle seats to Finnian’s Rainbow, was John Sterling.

All of which makes me wonder, what would Sterling’s home run call for the President be? Certainly it would start with the obligatory “It is high…it is far…it is gone!” But then what? A few possibilities include:

“It’s an A-Bomba, from O-Bama!”

“That’s gone…and it’s never coming Barack!”

“Oh Mama…there goes Obama!”

“Book it a flight on Air Force Run!”

But these, dear reader, are just the tip of the Sterling iceberg. Put on your thinking caps and send me your best John Sterling Presidential home run call The authors of the top three calls will win a brand new Sterling Stinks T-shirt!

John Sterling and Mr. Magoo. Separated at Birth?

2010-04-26T16:43:00.002-04:00

Writing for the SILive.com blog, Dean Balsamini referred to John Sterling as Mr. Magoo. For those of you under a certain age, Mr. Magoo was a cartoon character who bumbled his way through life due to his poor eyesight.

Wikipedia’s description of Magoo makes Balsamini’s confusion understandable:

“Quincy Magoo…gets into a series of sticky situations as a result of his nearsightedness, compounded by his stubborn refusal to admit the problem. Affected people…tend to think that he is a lunatic.”

Well, let’s see. Sterling certainly seems to have vision problems as evidenced by his many home run calls that turn out to be foul (or caught), and his frequent misidentification of players.
You could certainly call Sterling stubborn. Witness his refusal to back off of his widely-ridiculed home run calls and end-of-game calls. And most people I know think he’s a lunatic.

Hmmm. John Sterling. Mr. Magoo. I’ve never seen them photographed together. Could they be one in the same? That would explain plenty.

Trumpus the Grumpus

2010-04-26T16:14:00.001-04:00

While our readers have been great at providing us with lists of John Sterling’s less-than-stellar home run calls, we found another site that provides a pretty comprehensive inventory as well.

While the calls are as obnoxious as ever, I find solace in the comments:

“…once you get to Sterling’s inane ramblings… it makes it impossible to listen to a Yankee game on the radio.”
“Sterling and Waldman have the worst broadcast team in the bigs”
“The tag team of Sterling and Waldman is intolerable”

And my personal favorite: “Sterling Sucks.” See Grumpus? I am not alone. Find the list here.

The Devils Made Me Do It

2010-04-23T10:26:00.001-04:00

I am off licking my wounds from the Devil’s early demise in the play-offs. You Rangers fans feel free to bash me. At least now I can turn all of my attention to baseball. See you Monday.

Will the Real John Sterling Please Shut Up?

2010-04-22T16:52:00.001-04:00

You may have heard this, but here’s a great recording of some guy doing his impression of BOTH John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman. Not only does he get their sound, but he nails their style. “How do you predict baseball?” “You can throw the numbers out the window.” You get the picture.

I Feel Unpretty

2010-04-21T00:10:00.002-04:00

Sure “unpretty” is a word, it’s just not the kind of word you would expect to hear during a baseball broadcast. It’s awkward, clumsy and showy. In other words, it’s the perfect type of word for John Sterling to use, which he did, tonight.

During this evening’s game in Oakland, Sterling, the Yankees radio announcer, commented on how drab the A’s Coliseum is. It’s very “unpretty,” Sterling groaned. In fact, “it’s the unprettiest ballpark in the major leagues.”

Really?

Just as Tom Hanks exclaimed “there’s no crying in baseball,” I say, “there’s no flowery language in baseball!” You can tell by the name of this site that I am not one to beat around the bush (It’s called Sterling Stinks…not Sterling Annoys my Sensibilities).

So why “unpretty?” Why not…oh, I don’t know…maybe: ugly, awful, hideous, disgusting, terrible…you get the idea.

Why does Sterling make these misguided word choices? I don’t know. Maybe he’s bored. Maybe he’s oblivious. Or maybe he’s just unsmart.

John Sterling Fall-Back Career Part I

2010-04-20T10:43:00.001-04:00

Perhaps Sterling could go into the beverage business. After all, he has much in common with this namesake beverage:

The beverage is caffeine free so it won’t keep you up. Sterling’s voice puts me right to sleep.

The beverage is light and bubbly, but has no real substance. Ditto for JS.

While it may seem refreshing at first, its bland taste gets old fast.

When exposed for any length of time, it loses its fizz and becomes flat and boring. Kind of like Sterling by the second inning.

Any other similarities?

He's O Kay with Me

2010-04-19T13:44:00.002-04:00

As much as I prefer listen to a baseball game on the radio over watching one on TV, the voice of John Sterling is enough to drive me to the idiot box. While tuning in to yesterday’s matinee against the Texas Rangers, Yankees TV announcer Michael Kay showed an admirable touch of impartiality.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Brett Gardner hit a grounder that went right through the legs of Rangers second baseman Joaquin Arias. Was it catchable? Absolutely. Was it an error? Yes…to just about everyone except the official scorer who, feeling a little home town love, gave Gardner a hit.

Kay immediately took offense. “Oh come on!” he said. “That’s a shocker. I had it as E4. Come on!”

As discussed before right here at Sterling Stinks, rooting is one thing, but being an all out Homer can get annoying. Good job, Mr. Kay.

Oops, He Did it Again!

2010-04-16T15:37:00.001-04:00

Remember when Britney Spears kept getting photographed drinking Coca Cola even though she was a paid spokesperson for Pepsi? Maybe she’s not alone.

If John Sterling is coming to us from the Lowe’s Broadcast Booth, then why is he spending so much time in Home Depot?

When Googling “John Sterling,” I wondered why I got so many links to Home Depot. The answer? It seems that "John Sterling" is also the name of a company that manufactures home hardware products.

Visit your local Home Depot and you’ll find a wide selection of John Sterling (the company) pegs, hooks and hangers to meet your storage needs. Good idea! We wish John Sterling (the announcer) would hang it up as well.

Viva Las Vegas

2010-04-15T13:29:00.001-04:00

The word of Sterling’s embarrassing home run calls is spreading far and wide. Just today, the Las Vegas Review-Journal writes that Sterling “might have sunk to a new low with the addition of Curtis Granderson to the lineup.”

The first article on the page is a nice little story about Jeter playing a practical joke on Matsui during the home opening Championship Ring ceremony. Read it here.

Ho-Ho-Horrendous

2010-04-14T17:23:00.003-04:00

OK…I know I was going to let yesterday’s home opener slide without and comments, but the more I think about Sterling’s idiotic home run call for Nick Johnson (“Oh it’s Jolly Old St. Nick!”) the more it makes me want to fill his stocking with coal.
Maybe…just maybe…there’s no need to create a custom-made home run call for every player. As the old proverb states, sometimes it’s better to stay quiet and be thought a fool, than to speak up and remove all doubt.

A Suzyn Waldman Slip!

2010-04-14T17:11:00.001-04:00

Sure we focus on John Sterling, but when his partner in the booth, Suzyn Waldman, makes a goof, it’s only fair we give it a mention.

In the top of the ninth inning of today’s loss to the Angels, Waldman stated that relief pitcher Fernando Rodney was “throwing up in the pen.” After repeating the gaff (twice!), Waldman corrected herself (“warming up”) and moved on.

Yankees 2010 Home Opener

2010-04-13T15:20:00.004-04:00

Unless he does something really, really stupid (I can even let today's awkward "The Bases are Bursting with Bombers" slide), I won't let John Sterling ruin the beauty that is the home opener. Speaking of which, here's a glorious shot of the stadium during today's ceremonies. Isn't baseball amazing?

The John Sterling Home Run Call Quiz

2010-04-12T15:33:00.003-04:00

Sure we all know “it is high…it is far…it is gone,” but how well can you identify Sterling’s personalized calls for some current (and recently-departed) Yankees? See how you stack up thanks to Sporcle, a Web site dedicated to “mentally stimulating diversion.”

You’ll have seven minutes to correctly identify calls for 15 different Yankees, including Jeter, Cano and (my fave) Bernie Williams. Put on your thinking cap and click here to take the quiz. Good luck!

Defending John Sterling

2010-04-11T13:21:00.002-04:00

In a effort to be fair and balanced, here’s a link to a blog that, while bemoaning the state of baseball play-by-play, credits John Sterling (and Suzyn Waldman) for not being all-out homers.

Of course, most compliments of Sterling are back-handed at best. For example, before giving Sterling his due, this writer states:

“Sterling has been much-maligned for his silly home run calls and for not always following the action on Yankees games, and for letting his considerable ego loose on most nights.”

Some compliment.

The Giants Win the Pennant

2010-04-08T17:12:00.001-04:00

With all the talk lately about bad home run calls, I thought it might be fun to go back and listen to a classic. Russ Hodges will forever be known as the announcer of “The Shot Heard ‘Round the World.” Sure he’s excited, but there is never any feeling of grandstanding or that he is trying to overshadow the event.

As popular as this call is, Hodges took some heat for his gusto. Red Barber, the low-key Dodger’s announcer, considered it questionable journalism. As for his call of the homer, Barber responded to the blast with 59 seconds of dramatic silence, letting his listeners soak up the ambient sound. Wonder what he would say about the Grandyman?

Sterling Adds to Granderson Home Run Call (via Willy Wonka)

2010-04-07T22:56:00.003-04:00

Would he? Could he? Was it possible that John Sterling would repeat his much-maligned home run call for Curtis Granderson? Simply put, yes.

After Granderson went yard against Jonathan Papelbon in tonight's 10th inning, the head scratching began as, for some unknown reason, Sterling repeated his now infamous “Something sort of Grandish” call.

But wait. It gets worse. Since one egotistical call may not be enough, Stelring then proceeded to serenade his listners buy singing “The Grandyman can, the Grandyman can.” This is apparently his take on the song “The Candy Man,” featured in the film Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory.

“Something sort of Grandish” is based on the 1947 Broadway musical Finnian’s Rainbow. Willy Wonka came out in 1971. I guess this is Sterling’s idea of getting with the times.

We Called It

2010-04-07T16:02:00.002-04:00

Who knew we had such a knack for predicting the future?

Way back on March 11, (after listing five Sterling idiosyncrasies that drive us mad) we listed the one positive thing we could mention about the Yankee broadcaster. While that post may have seemed a bit odd at the time, it came resonating back on the heels of Sterling’s disastrous Curtis Granderson home run call which, it turns out, was inspired by a 40-year-old Broadway musical.

Granderson Update

2010-04-06T14:44:00.001-04:00

How bad did John Sterling blow his first home run call for Curtis Granderson? A quick Google search for “’John Sterling’ and ‘Curtis Granderson’” returns over 2,400 results (and most of them don’t look too positive).

Writing for the timesunion.com blogs, Jordan Carleo-Evangelist drafted an open letter to Mr. Sterling questioning his questionable home run call for Curtis Granderson. Read the story here.

John Sterling's Grandseron Call

2010-04-05T16:29:00.003-04:00

Perhaps the biggest off-season Yankees question was “what would be John Sterling’s home run call for Curtis Granderson?” We now all know that it was a ridiculous, sorry attempt at best. But where did “Something sort of grandish” come from? Would you believe a Broadway musical from 1947. Another Sterling moment in Yankee history. Read more here.

As Good as it Gets?

2010-04-05T16:08:00.003-04:00

I forgot just how over-the-top John Sterling gets when he gushes about Alex Rodriquez. I was reminded last night when he called A-Rod’s 2009 post-season “as good a play-offs as any player’s ever had.” Really?

No doubt, Rodriquez had his best post-season in pinstripes, and he certainly helped bring the championship home…but “as good a play-offs as any player’s ever had” seems a bit strong.

In the World Series, A-Rod hit .250 with six RBIs and one HR. Those numbers put him nowhere near the top of any major batting statistic in World Series’ history. Even in Yankee Land, we have Babe Ruth hitting four homers, Bobby Richardson with 12 RBI and, just last year, Hideiki Matsui hit .615 in the Fall Classic.

Rodriquez had a much better LCS, but even those numbers are far from “best ever” stats. In fact, virtually none of A-Rod’s Championship Series batting numbers land him in the Top 10 of any single-season LCS batting list. Oops…actually his three HRs have him tied for third (with 27 other players).

Once again, why let the facts get in the way of a good ass kissing?

A Grand Night for Dinging

2010-04-04T21:30:00.004-04:00

Well, it took John Sterling less than two innings into the 2010 season to misidentify a player.

Curtis Granderson’s 455-foot, second inning home run delighted many Yankee fans on opening night, but none more than Sterling. In addition to showing off yet another inane home run call, Sterling continued to gush about Granderson like a love-struck schoolgirl.

The love fest distracted Sterling so much that he referred to left fielder Brett Gardner as Granderson later that same inning.

Opening night box score: Sterling 1, Accuracy 0.

Crystal Ball Time

2010-04-03T12:38:00.002-04:00

Based on statistical analysis--and some hunches--here are my projected final standings for the 2010 MLB season:

AL East
NY Yankees
Tampa Bay Rays
Boston Red Sox
Toronto Blue Jays
Baltimore Orioles

AL Central
Chicago White Sox
Minnesota Twins
Detroit Tigers
Kansas City Royals
Cleveland Indians

AL West
Texas Rangers
Los Angeles Angels
Seattle Mariners
Oakland Athletics

NL East
Phiadelphis Phillies
Atlanta Braves
Florida Marlins
NY Mets
Washington Nationals

NL Central
St. Louis Cardinals
Chicago Cubs
Milwaukee Brewers
Houston Astros
Pittsburgh Pirates

NL West
Colorado Rockies
Los Angeles Dodgers
San Diego Padres
San Francisco Giants
Arizona Diamondbacks

2010-04-02T13:21:00.003-04:00

Suzyn Waldman chatted with Boston radio heads Tanquay and Zolak about the Yankees upcoming season, her embarrassing "Roger-Clemens-is-a-New-York-Yankee" moment and, of course, John Sterling. After the interview, T&Z took some pot (and potty) shots at J.S. Listen to the interview here.

And You Thought Waterboarding was Bad

2010-04-02T12:37:00.004-04:00

Last year Matt Taibbi wrote an article for Men's Journal claiming that the Yank's attempt at buying a World Championship would never work. We all know how that ended up.

Today, Taibbi invites Yankee fans to send him gloating e-mails. In fact, if he gets 1,000 letters, Taibbi promises to "post a video of myself on YouTube listening to an endless loop of John Sterling’s The-e-e-e-e-e Yankees win!" Talk about torture. Jeez Matt, we wouldn't wish that on our worst enemy!

By the way, today's article is a thoughtful look at eight ways to increase parity in baseball and is definitely worth a read.

Sterling Joins Red Sox

2010-04-01T11:31:00.006-04:00

Well, Sterling detractors, we finally got our wish. In a surprise move, NY Yankee announcer John Sterling has jumped ship and is now the radio voice of the Boston Red Sox. He begins his new assignment this Sunday with the season opener.

In a prepared statement, Sterling said that while his "Yankee years were second only to his time in Atlanta, he looks forward to joining Red Sox Nation."

Many Yankee fans will, no doubt, celebrate the move. Until they check the calendar.

You Can't Predict Baseball...You Can't Predict Baseball

2010-03-31T11:00:00.001-04:00

On those rare occasions when John Sterling actually makes sense, he still manages to annoy. Usually it's because he's said it a million times before...and that's in the last two innings! MLB.com beat writer Bryan Hoch deftly points this out in a recent blog about the Yankees 2010 season.

Can’t the Yankees do Better than John Sterling?

2010-03-29T14:13:00.003-04:00

I can’t wait for opening day against the Red Sox, yet my excitement is tempered with the knowledge that this also means another year of John Sterling blowing calls and hot air.

While surfing the Web, I came upon a well-thought-out argument against the announcer. Here’s the link.

Sterling Silver

2010-03-26T14:11:00.005-04:00

Today, USA Today mentions how John Sterling “has been misjudging fly balls for home runs for years.” It’s good to see the press verify what we’ve known for far too many seasons. Actually, it is an interesting article on veteran sportscasters, from Sterling (71) to Vin Scully (82).

Personally, I prefer some of the older announcers to the younger ones. They provide a better perspective to the game and are full of interesting anecdotes. I won’t get into what I think Sterling is full of.

Read the story here.

Sterling Double Dipping?

2010-03-24T14:03:00.003-04:00

As we wait for the season to start, we will take an occasional look at Sterling Moments from years gone by. In 2008, the NY Post reported that John Sterling was building a bad rep in the press dining room.

Charges range from dipping his finger into the ice cream barrel, to breaking snacks in half and leaving the remains for others. All this proves that, unlike the rest of us, John Sterling can have his cake and eat it, too…and leave the rest for some poor slob to clean up. Read the whole story here.

Want Fries with That Shake?

2010-03-23T14:56:00.001-04:00

How does John Sterling create such a strong vibrato for his infamous “The Yankees Win!” call? By contorting his upper body in a move known as the “Sterling Shake.” The best part happens around the :24 second point, when Sterling turns around to see who’s looking at him. Kind of a microcosm of why he is such a terrible broadcaster…it’s all about him.

Me Llama Senior Boring

2010-03-22T16:07:00.001-04:00

Writing for the NY Post today, Phil Mushnick reports that WCBS-AM has struck a deal with a Spanish-speaking station to carry Yankees games. Mushnick points out that even if you no comprende Espanol , it still beats listening to Sterling. Good point, Phil!

Girardi Wallops Sterling?

2010-03-19T14:46:00.001-04:00

No matter how much he annoys us, we certainly wish John Sterling no harm. That said, we certainly got a kick out of an NBC Sports blog that talked about Yankee skipper Joe Girardi whacking Sterling upside the head with a metal chair. Read the story here.

Lemonade from Lemons

2010-03-18T16:53:00.001-04:00

Sterling’s end-of-game victory call (“Theeeee Yankees Win”) is so annoying that it makes even the biggest Yankee fan cringe. Yet musical group The Deadly Spinners found inspiration in it. The result is a fine piece of work called the “WinWarble Song.” Here it is:

More Hot Air

2010-03-18T16:44:00.003-04:00

Pinstripe Alley gives a great example how one of John Sterling's many thories just doesn't hold water. Baseball fans will enjoy their analysis called Men Left on Base.

Spring Training Broadcast Schedule

2010-03-12T10:18:00.001-05:00

Want to know when to steer clear of WCBS 880? Here's their spring training schedule.

“Cervelli will NOT be stealing…there he goes!”

2010-03-11T15:57:00.002-05:00

You gotta love it when a know-it-all shows just how little he knows.

One Reason Sterling Doesn't Stink

2010-03-11T13:35:00.002-05:00

His knowledge of show tunes.

Fives Reasons Sterling Stinks

2010-03-11T13:29:00.005-05:00

“It is high…it is far…it is gone!”
It is… perhaps the most annoying home run call in baseball history. Sterling constantly strives to shine the light on himself, instead of the on-field action. This call is a perfect example.

An A-Bomb, Called by A-Hole
It is not enough for Sterling to distract from the game with one over-the-top call; he needs to add stupid wordplay that only distracts from the action more.

Stats! Stats! Stats!
Despite the fact that Sterling will frequently bemoan the over use of stats, he overuses stats.

Oil and Water
His total lack of chemistry with Suzyn Wladman. Really…is she even in the same building?

Perfect Attendance
It’s one thing being a homer, it is another to spend sooooo much time reporting attendance figures. Seriously, count the number of times he mentions this.

Get in Shape!

2010-03-08T17:39:00.002-05:00

It’s spring training and fans, like players, must get in shape. To help you prepare for the grind of listening to John Sterling, here’s a pretty funny video called The Sterling Shake. Enjoy.